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You Know You’re Really Into Reptiles When…Part 1

These are only a few ways to tell you’re really into Reptiles. Read our other submissions, then send us yours.

Breeder's Choice: April 2013
Field Herpers
Reptile Retailer Spotlight: Elmwood, New Jersey's Route 4 Aquarium

Send us your funny suggestions for how to tell when you’re really into Reptiles!

Send your funny one-liners to reptileeditor@i5publishing.com  

If your submission is printed in the magazine, you will win $50 worth of Rep-Cal products!




ReptilesMagazine.com is your home page.


You spend your lunch money on crickets.


Your mom expects you to go on ReptileChannel everyday, or else something is wrong.

You are more interested in fire-bellied toads than school work.

The cashier at the pet store doesn’t even look at the crickets you’ve brought to the register, because they already know the exact number and size you always buy.

You don’t have to take your reptiles to the vet cause you know how to treat everything.


You work at the petstore but you never get paid because you buy from them.

You turned your window into a terrarium.

You have a cricket farm instead of an ant farm.

You get a second job at the local pet store and your discount saves you enough to pay the rent.


Everyone you know asks you to determine the species of every reptile they see in movies, TV shows and magazines.

You think nothing of keeping your reptile’s cage spotless, but you can’t stand to clean your cat’s litter box or even your own home.

You know the names of all the employees at every pet store in town, but can’t remember what your what uncle’s name is.


Your friends are scared to come over to your house because you have “too many reptiles.”

You label a folder containing pictures of your house as “Pics of my Habitat” and give it to a real estate agent.

You go to hand your Pet Pals card to the cashier at PETCO and he hands it back to you and says, “I already got it.”

You’re at the vet and someone brings in a sick cat and you suggest that it may be going into shed.


Your mom freaks out when she sees a house gecko in her room, but doesnt know about the snake under your bed.

People call you “mountain man” because you spend so much time looking for herps in the woods.

The clerk at your local lawn and garden store doesn’t look at you strangely anymore when you buy 50 bags of vermiculite and sphagnum moss.

Your local zoo consults you for their questions on reptile care.

You hold a public funeral for the dead frog you found on your front lawn.

You get so mixed up with all of the living things in your house, you accidentally call your brother by the names of your herps.

You’ll jump into a pond to get that one special turtle.

Your pockets are empty, but your reptile’s stomach isn’t!

You have to choose between your snake and your significant other.

When you walk into the bearded dragon room you nod your head and wave your arm.

Your Great Dane is afraid to go into your bedroom.

You work at a reptile store but owe them money.

Your house has rocks,vines and plants on the inside. Next Page>>

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